10 Things You Need to Give Up If You Want to Be Happy Now

be happy

What is the meaning of life? What is your purpose? Why are you here?

All of the answers to these deeper questions can reveal themselves to you in time if you are aware and open to them.

In fact, it is only when you align and start following your bliss and the things that make you happy, that you can start to realize your purpose and the meaning of your life.

Happiness truly has to be created in your life and if you are looking for more happiness, it starts from within your own soul first.

A happy life doesn’t necessarily mean one that is free of adversity and struggle, but it does mean that when adversity and struggle presents itself you are in a stronger and more comfortable frame of mind, which allows you to see the blessing and lesson in everything.

No matter what your purpose or path is in this life, you will never feel fulfilled or satisfied if you don’t feel happiness from within.

Happiness is truly the birth place of all success and peace in this life and if you want to create more of it, you have to:

1. Give Up Negative Self-Talk

In the corner of our mind we all have a voice that tells us we are not good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not educated enough, not special enough, not lucky enough and the list goes on.

In order to be truly happy, this voice not only needs to be switched off, but it also needs to be replaced with positive reinforcements instead.

You are enough and you are perfect exactly how you are. This view point doesn’t mean you cant change, grow and evolve if you feel the need to, but understanding at your core that you are enough is truly when self-love can begin.

When you work on loving yourself more, everything else will fall into place and happiness will be born.

2. Give Up Blaming Others 

Is it always someone else’s fault? Are you always the victim of other people’s behaviour?

If you find yourself constantly blaming other people for your misfortunes or even your fortunes, you are never truly going to feel happy within yourself.

You are responsible for every emotion, thought, feeling and action that you take. Everyone around us is simply reflecting back to us things that we need to address and identify within ourselves. Everyone around us is a teacher and how you react to them is your own responsibility.

Give up blaming others and start taking responsibility for your life, when you do you will automatically find solutions to your problems and it will allow you to feel more empowered by your life.

3. Give Up Your Need to Control 

When you try to control every facet and aspect of your life you choke up the energy around you and restrict the natural ebb and flow of life.

There are very few things that we have complete control over in this life and when we try to control everything, not only do we drive ourselves crazy but we also limit our potential for growth and change.

While there is nothing wrong with setting your intention and planning things, it is also necessary to let things go and to release your attachment to the outcome. When you do, you allow more flow around you and you will feel more at peace with your life.

4. Give Up Complaining 

Do you whinge and complain about your day over and over? Do you always find something to complain about?

Having gratitude for every situation and every experience will not only allow you to see the positive side, but it will also create more happiness and joy in your life.

When you give up complaining, it allows you to see the world from a different point of view and raises your vibration to attracting more of what it is that you want.

As Ziggy states- “You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”

5. Give Up Your Desire to Impress

A lot of us move through life always trying to impress the people around us whether it be our family, our boss or our friends. What about living life for you instead?

When you release your desire to impress others, not only will you feel more comfortable in your own skin but you will also naturally create more happiness in your life as you will only do the things that you truly want to do.


When you drop the need to impress others, you will also start to feel stronger and more secure within yourself and that is the perfect recipe for happiness.

6. Give Up Making Excuses

Want to take a trip? Want to start night school? Want to start your own blog?

A lot of us fall into the trap of making excuses as to why we can’t do the things that we want to do. There really is never the perfect time to do anything unless you create the perfect time.

When you give up your excuses, and stop holding yourself back from doing the things that you truly desire, not only does your self-esteem get a boost, but it also makes you feel freer and happier.

Sift through your dreams and wishes and ask yourself, what excuses are you making that are holding you back from achieving them?

7. Give Up Attachments to the Past

Holding onto the past is one of the most debilitating things that we can do. While everything that happened in the past is a lesson for us to grow from, holding on to the events, replaying them in our mind, or wishing they were different is the fastest way to take away your happiness.

While it is ok to grieve or process any emotions that the past stirs up within us, eventually we need to let them go and accept all that was. Eventually we need to look back on them with acceptance, light and love.

Through accepting the past and letting any attachments to the events go, it will allow you to move forward into the happiness of the present moment.

8. Give Up Your Resistance Towards Change 

Life is always changing and always evolving. Things are constantly moving and sometimes we need to change or update the path that we are walking down and assess if it is no longer serving our highest good.

When you can sense that change is coming and you resist the natural flow of it, it can start to make you feel resistant or resentful towards life and your situation.

Allowing change to flow and surrendering your need to control can allow you to see things with a different perspective and can open you up to the amazing possibilities that change can bring. It can also make you feel happier and more at peace with your situation.

9. Give Up Criticising Yourself and Others

When you criticise others or yourself, you lower your vibration and put yourself into a negative frame of mind.

While it may seem harmless to comment on what someone else is wearing, or criticise someone for their actions, really all you are doing is reacting from your ego self and putting someone else down in order to feel better about yourself.

If you find yourself criticising your self or others, try instead to focus on kindness and compassion, as this is how you are going to create more happiness.

10.  Give Up Your Need to Always Be Right

What does right and wrong even mean? Everyone has their own perspective and sometimes what feels right to you feels wrong to someone else and vice versa.

For this reason, giving up your need to always be right and instead acting from a place of acceptance, understanding and compassion is going to allow you to feel happier and more at ease.

Even though you may feel 100% right in your actions or opinions, you need not try to force other people to see this as this activates your ego and causes you to feel blocked and restricted.

Releasing your need to be right is really about holding your own truth and not feeling the need to impose it on others. When this occurs, it allows you to feel stronger and more peaceful from within.

True happiness is an inside job, and when you decide to give up these 10 factors, happiness will automatically flood into your life and help you to see things from a different view point.

Being happy doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is perfect in your life all the time, but it does mean that you have decided to look beyond the muck and madness of it all and into the light and gratitude surrounding it.

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”- Denis Waitely

Image Artwork by Halstenberg Studio

About the author

Tanaaz

Creator of Forever Conscious and other things.

  • Anahit Petrosyan

    Tanaaz, this list reads like a story of the challenges I have faced in my life, though not necessarily in the same order or one at a time either. I am now struggling particularly with “6”, as I learn how to stop making excuses and make a move on what matters to me. For now, I am first working to identify “my” dreams, since sometimes, when one lives a life too enmeshed with those of others, it can be hard to “know thyself,” as the Ancient Greeks recommended. There I go again, making excuses that stop me from acting. 🙂 Anyway, thank you for compiling these guidelines which, as you mention at the outset of the article, provide clues to how one can get to know oneself, and discover one’s purpose.

    • Thank you Anahit, I am so glad the list helped you to gain some insight. You are not alone, we all deal with these 10 factors from time to time. I think as our abilities and consciousness expands however, we can learn to identify them quicker and therefore move through them quicker.