Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong sort of partner into your life?
Its 2015 and you still haven’t found that perfect someone that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Instead, you find yourself dating horrible, aggressive, needy or lazy guys or girls who have no similar interests or longevity.
It seems that no matter how hard you try, pray or ask, you just cant seem to attract the right sort of person into your life.
You are not alone, statistics show that the average woman will experience four disastrous dates and seven different relationships before finding her life long partner, whereas men will experience four disastrous dates and eight failed relationships before finding his life long partner.
Finding a match is not easy, there are billions of people in this world but really only a select few that can peak our interest. Where do you begin? How can you narrow down the search and attract the perfect partner?
#1: There is no such thing as a perfect person
Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have a few undesirable traits that make us unique and different, whether it’s flaws, skeletons or other bad habits.
Forget about perfect when it comes to relationships. Forget about trying to find someone that checks all your boxes because that person probably doesn’t exist. You want to find someone who is not the perfect person, but a perfect partner and a perfect partner is someone who is so good that their flaws don’t even compare to how good they are. You want to be able to accept their flaws and learn to love and appreciate them as part of their personality.
In return, you want to find someone that accepts your flaws and appreciates them as part of your personality, and the only way you can attract this type of lover into your life is by accepting and appreciating your own flaws first.
When you make peace with who you are and all your so-called undesirable traits, you open up room for someone else to come in and appreciate them with you. Without completing this step, you may constantly find yourself attracting partners who are unaccepting or non-committal.
#2: You attract what you put out there which is exactly what you need
Just ended a date with another jerk? Sorry to say, there is a part of you deep down (probably subconsciously) that is attracting that jerk into your life and for whatever reason, it is necessary for you to encounter this jerk in order to move forward.
While this may be a hard pill to swallow, we are always attracting whatever energy we are putting out there or vibrating. The trap here is that we often have no idea what energy we are vibrating until we start looking at our thoughts, and often our thoughts can be centered around what we don’t want, rather than what we want.
Having fear or lacking confidence and not loving or honoring yourself are all recipes to attract undesirable partners. These undesirable partners that we do attract however, are also there to shed light on how high we value ourselves.
To attract the right partner, focus instead on learning to love and appreciate yourself and monitor your thoughts to ensure that you are focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.
#3: We seek our parents in our relationships
Many psychologists have stated that romantic love occurs when our unconscious mind is exposed to the archetype of parental love that we received as a child. This means that we are always searching for people who remind us of our mother or father- whether we want to or not.
Basically on a deeper level, we seek out partners that fill our unfulfilled emotional needs from childhood.
While there is nothing wrong with this, it may give a good understanding as to why we need to experience multiple partners before settling down.
We are always attracted to people for certain reasons, and as we grow and evolve those attractions either die out, or they live on. Without experiencing this cycle to the fullest, its hard to know what it is that you truly want from a life long partner.
#4: Your other half is you
Looking for someone to complete you? Look in the mirror, because the only person who is going to complete you is YOU.
Partners are a nice supplement to who we are, and often the right partner can help us to become the best version of ourselves, however you are never going to feel complete by teaming up with someone else.
A healthy, conscious relationship requires both partners to feel full and whole in themselves, that way they can truly be, give and express their best self within the partnership.
#5: Your time is coming
There is a time for everyone, and your time will come too. You are not destined to grow old alone (unless that is what you want). Surrender control, surrender your need and desire to find that one special someone and allow yourself to go with the flow. It really comes back to that old saying- it happens when you least expect it…..As annoying as it is, it’s true.
Stop expecting, stop wanting and see what happens when you allow life to take control.