How to Mend A Broken Relationship

how to mend a broken relationship

Going through a break up or a divorce can be one of the most challenging things we can experience. Often however, it is the relationships and experiences that are most painful that bring about the greatest growth.

Not that relationships need to be painful, but it seems that those who walk into our lives and challenge us in new ways often leave the greatest impact, and if used correctly, these challenges can lead us to an awakening. 

So you have said hateful things to each other, uttered the words “I don’t love you anymore”, slept on the couch, screamed, shouted, and cried endless nights however, somewhere on the other side of that you are given an opening- could we get back together?

Sometimes it seems almost impossible to even play with the notion of getting back together, especially after all the pain, hurt and tears but sometimes, almost as if the Universe is playing tricks on you, there is a glimmer of hope.

At first, its just a glimmer, and then you begin playing with the notion- can we mend this relationship?

All couples fight, and sometimes the fights can make you stronger, and sometimes the fights can break you.

If you are confused as to which path to take listen to your instincts, but in times of crisis when you can no longer hear any voice of reason sometimes it is the path of least resistance that will bring you home. 

Reconciliation is not impossible, but it does take a lot of effort and commitment from both sides. Sometimes, break ups, or near-break ups signal that a shift needs to happen within, that both of you need to shift in order to continue on the path together. 

And, of course, it takes two, its not just one person shifting, it’s both, and both need to be willing to do the work.

So, how do you do it?

Each couple is different and on different stages of their journey but here are 7 things that may help mend that broken relationship:

1.) LEARN TO LET GO

If only one of you want the breakup, sometimes, although its hard, you need to acknowledge that for the other person. Sometimes, you need to give in and let go-

“If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you, it is yours, if it doesn’t, it was never was and was not meant to be”- Unknown 

In doing so, you can really see if your relationship has a chance to reconcile. There is no point being with someone if they don’t want to be with you. That is neither healthy nor real love. If it is meant to be, you must trust in the Universe that you will reconcile when the time is right.

2.) GET SOME SPACE

Having some space away can be the most therapeutic thing when deciding on whether or not to end a relationship. Take some time apart for at least a week where you don’t see, talk or text the other person.

Use this time to go within and reflect on what you truly desire. Write, meditate, go for long walks, spend time with friends, cry, allow yourself the time you need to focus on what you want.

During this time, don’t pressure yourself to find all the answers, just relax, let it be, and if you are still enough, the answers will surely appear. Sometimes it just comes down to- what makes you feel good?

3.) DON’T FEEL GUILTY

One of the biggest traps when getting back into a relationship is doing so out of guilt.

You don’t need to feel guilty for anything you have done. Remember, relationships are a two-way street and it always takes two to tango.

Whether you are instigating the breakup, have said some hurtful things or even cheated, there is no point going back into the relationship out of guilt.

While you may feel guilty over your behaviour, take it out of the equation for now. It’s your guilt, and you need to work on it in your own time.

4.) DON’T MAKE THE PAST THE FUTURE

“But he did this.”

“She did that.”

“How could he do that to me?”

Do these statements sound familiar?

This is the lovely face of the ego, and although these comments can sometimes make us feel better- because just for a moment they justify how we have been “wronged”- really they are not conducive to any type of healing or reconciliation. Sure, the past hurts, and sometimes memories can be ingrained onto the cornea of our


Sure, the past hurts, and sometimes memories can be ingrained onto the cornea of our eyeballs however, you must keep the past in the past.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

This powerful quote by Maya Angelou points us in the direction of knowing. If you feel wronged by your partner, does it come as any surprise? There are always clues, it is our responsibility to listen to them.

Truthfully speaking, no one can “wrong” you or make you feel a certain way, that is simply our ego responding to the actions of another ego. We are always in charge of how we feel. While it doesn’t excuse any

We are always in charge of how we feel. While it doesn’t excuse any behaviour, you must first accept what has happened, allow yourself to feel all the emotions you feel without judgment and then find it in your heart to forgive.

Practicing forgiveness is one of the most humbling experiences.

Remember, sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we don’t know any better, sometimes we do things that we shouldn’t do- especially in relationships.

Nobody is perfect and everybody is on their own journey so can we really judge them?

Forgiving is not saying that what happened was okay, rather, forgiving just means that you have made peace with the pain and you are ready to let it all go.

You will need to do this whether you get back together or stay apart so you might as well begin now.

5.) LOOK WITHIN

Our relationships are always a mirror of our own selves. They reflect back to us things that we need to work on and it is always the best relationships, that is the ones that offer the most growth, that are often the most challenging.

Sometimes, it can be really hard to face what we see or experience in that mirror but if you don’t learn the lessons, or you run from them, they are just going to keep returning in your life with a different face.

Oprah once gave this analogy which sums this all up perfectly- the Universe first gives you a whisper, then a tug, then a scream and then boom, the brick hits you in the face!

Don’t let it get to the brick stage! Do the work when you see it arise, no matter how challenging.

One point I will make here is that “doing the work” doesn’t mean putting yourself through mounds of misery to experience an awakening or growth.

Doing the work really refers to going within and finding out how to transcend the issues of your relationship consciously. Sometimes, that does involve walking away, and other times it involves just looking in the mirror

6.) MAKE PEACE

If you do decide to walk down the path of reconciliation and both of you have done and are continuing the work, be gentle with each other and let go of any expectations.

Make a pact with each other that you will help and point out (gently) when the other is reacting with old behaviour patterns or with the ego.  

This is not about judging the other person, but it is more about working as a team to help one another release past behaviours and shift into this new chapter.

In order for this to work, both parties need to be understanding, willing to work on their “issues” and be conscious of their ego. (If you want to be more conscious of your ego read- How the Ego Manifests Itself.)

If your partner is not open to this type of terminology, approach it like this:

Start off by saying- “your behavior makes me feel like this….” without judgment and then allow the person to express their opinions too.

7.)  WALKING AWAY

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a relationship has simply run its course. If you have both reached the decision that this is the best option, trust in that and move on. Although it hurts, just remember when a door closes, another one always opens.

Getting back together takes the full commitment of both parties, however it really starts with each individual wanting to make a change.

This change must come from within and is usually triggered by just letting go.

The pain and tears have come and gone so just let it all go and see what really happens when you cut the cord- does a new one appear or is it all said and done?

About the author

Tanaaz

Creator of Forever Conscious and other things.

  • Sona

    Hello Tanaaz, Read your few articles. They are amazing. Very insightful. Thank you 🙂
    I have a question – How can I find my spiritual guru? How do I know that person can be/is my guru ?

  • Melissa Krumm

    Thank you! You always post exactly what I need!

    • you are welcome! glad to hear it was helpful

  • Rosalia Alecia

    I have a husband who cheats on me, drinks and as his wife he could hardly spend time or listen to me, i and my husband Mark are both from United state. I have tried all means to stop him from this ugly attitude but he never changed, he treats me like a slave, he stop loving me the way he used to and he now always come home late at night. I tried all means to make him love me back and change for good and i have also talked to his families concerning his attitude. I just got to know of Priest Abasi recently that he helps a lot of persons restore broken marriage,fertility issues,health issues and if you want to be rich and well known.i asked Priest Abasi if there is anyway to make him love me again and make him a good responsible husband. He promised to help me out, in just 4 days after the spell was done he started loving me again and now he is fully back to his right senses, if you are looking for a genuine spell caster to help you with your marriage problems, to get your ex back or you are looking for solutions to your problems , i will advice you email Priest Abasi on highpriestabasispelltemple@hotmail.com

  • Robert Scott

    My name is Roberts Scott,I base in Canada…My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage,my husband left me with two kids .I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time.Thanks to a spell caster called PRIEST ABASI, which i met online. On one faithful day,as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster.Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and win court cases and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called ROSALIA ALECIA,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped PRIEST ABASI’s e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email {highpriestabasispelltemple@hotmail.com} and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Priest Abasi, is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you.contact priest Abasi on his email highpriestabasispelltemple@hotmail.com,his is the answer to all your problems.

  • Michelle Raymond

    Good day to the viewers all over the word my name is Michelle Raymond am
    from United state of America,I have been suffering and thinking for two and
    half year now,and i happen to have 2 kids for my husband, and now we cannot
    proceed to have another kids all because of he left me for another woman
    and now i have done all what a human like in getting my husband back but
    failed to come out with a good solution, i went to several places to seek
    for help not even one person could ever help, until i meet a comment on the
    daily news paper that was commented by Monica Jackson about how this
    powerful traditional spell caster who help her get her husband back ”” i
    first taught of having a help from a spiritual traditional spell-caster was
    a wrong idea, but i taught about it when i got home, i then realize that if
    i don’t give it a try will i continue to suffer and think all my life and
    my kids will have no one to call their father, even if i know i have
    someone to help me get my husband back and save my marriage. so i gather
    all my faiths and put in all interest to contact him through his Email at,[
    drazubuikespiritualspellcaster@gmail.com],so after i have mailed him to
    help getting my husband back, he responded to me that i should not be
    afraid and less my worries, that he is a truthful and powerful spell-caster
    , So he promise me that i will get my husband back but on a condition that
    i provide the necessary items needed and obeyed all his oracle
    instructions. I said okay and I did all by accepting his oracle instruction
    and only to see after 3 days my husband came back home ,at first i was
    shock but it was all the great powers of Dr Azubuike
    and now i am happy and glad for his miraculous help and power and my kids
    now have their dad back and my marriage is now restored. I know is hard to
    contact someone on the internet but i assure you that Dr Azubuike is
    powerful and genuine.SO CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL AND PHONE NUMBER [
    drazubuikespiritualspellcaster@gmail.com] or [+2349063645392]

  • Saanya Singh

    Hi Tanaaz, Hope you’re keeping well,

    Your posts are so so beautiful, and one can genuinely feel connected, I just came across your website and I am hooked. All your posts are so informative.

    Thank you for posting them.

    More power to you.

    • thank you so much for your kind words! so glad you are enjoying the site 😀

  • Tope

    After 6 years in marriage with my Wife and 3 kids, my wife started going out with another man,she showed me cold love, on several occasions she threatens to file a divorce,I was totally devastated and confused because i cant believe this is the same woman we have been sharing so much love and affections she has completely changed i dont want to loose her because i love her so much until a old friend of mine told me about a great spell caster Priest Abasi on the internet who helped a lot of people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try because it was my last hope,I contacted this great spell caster,he helped me cast a spell and within 48hours i was suprirised when my wife called me and started apologizing,isn’t that wonderful? much thanks to this unique spell caster Priest Abasi now she is back to me and she has loved me more than ever before.if you are having relationship problem ,you need your lover back or you want the great priest to cast a pregnancy spell or you need ay help contact the great priest now on highpriestabasispelltemple@hotmail.com