Letting Go of Friendships After Your Awakening

letting go of friendships after awakening

My awakening happened at around 16 and lasted for a few years. It really wasn’t until I turned 19 that I was able to truly understand that what was happening to me was somewhat “normal”.

When I had my awakening, I knew I couldn’t really talk about it or explain it to anyone. I couldn’t tell people that I was hearing voices or chatting with my Spirit Guides. I couldn’t really tell people how cool Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer’s books were, so I just sort of kept it to myself.

In fact, it was very easy for me to switch off everything at school and be “normal”, but then when I got home it would be my time to delve into all things spiritual.

I lived this way for a while, but eventually it got harder and harder to contain. Eventually, I had to make some physical life changes in order to catch up with what my spirit and body wanted me to do.

I started changing my diet, my lifestyle, my after school hobbies, everything in my physical environment started to change. This was when my friends started to really notice.

One day my friend even commented that I had changed, that I even looked different. Her comment really helped me to know that I wasn’t crazy and that other people were also starting to notice.

Towards the end of high school, I became friends with someone who was also starting to have an awakening. Great, I thought, where was she a few years ago?!

Seeing my friend go through her awakening was eye opening. While I was very earthy and internal through mine, she struggled to remain so. She found it hard to keep her awakening life and her regular life separate, and wanted all of her friends to know what was happening.

Of course, her friends were not able to relate to her, which ended up making her feel alienated and alone. While we had each other of course, she had known her other friends since she was young, and it was difficult for her to not have their support.

Eventually she found it too difficult to hang out with them and she started removing them from her life completely.

This was not a step that I  had to take during my awakening. At least, not right away. Looking at her awakening in comparison, mine had been a lot more gentle and internal, whereas hers felt strong and external.


Awakening happens differently for different people. I am a very earthy soul, so perhaps during my awakening it allowed me to remain grounded and connected. Whereas my friend on the other hand, was a very fiery soul, and perhaps it was part of her process to really own and claim her newfound fire.

When it came to letting go of friendships for me, I just sort of let them fizzle out and naturally dwindle down. Friends that I no longer really wanted in my life just sort of melted away. But for her, she had to really state her truth and have everything out on the table.

Even today, I have friends that have no idea what I do or have any understanding of my abilities. I don’t talk about it, they don’t bring it up and yes perhaps it is weird, however when we do hang out I have fun. I have a good laugh. It’s almost like hanging with these people gives me a short break.

The only time I find it draining to be around people who are not open to this stuff is when they are full of drama. But if they are just loving, fun to be around people, to me it doesn’t matter if they understand spirit or not.

I guess the point of this all is to share with you that you don’t have to completely drop all of your friends from your life just because you have had an awakening and they don’t understand.

Sure if the friendship is no longer serving you, by all means go ahead and let it go. But if you are still able to hang out, have fun and laugh then perhaps that is spiritual in its own right.

I think after an awakening there is a tendency to want to feel validated and honored for the “struggle” that you have gone through. Perhaps there is a tendency to want to be recognized for the fact that you can talk to Spirits and access some Divine wisdom. And while this is ok, it may be worth considering that you don’t always have to seek this out in every friend you meet.

At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you, there is no right or wrong here. But I offer you this- there is a way that you can integrate your spiritual awakening into “regular” life. Yes, it takes practice and some finessing, but it is possible.

In fact, integrating Spirit into this earthly world is part of why you have awakened in the first place!

Of course, not everyone is going to resonate with this and I am sure some people out there are “all or nothing”, but I would be curious to know how many other awakened souls out there have been able to still keep some of their original friendships.

Feel free to share in comments below!

About the author

Tanaaz

Creator of Forever Conscious and other things.

  • This resonates with me – as I’ve just had to let go of a 30 year friendship. About 5-6 years into the friendship, I moved away & we became phone friends. During my awakening, I noticed she had an unreasonable jealousy concerning her husband. I began to make it a point to subtly refute that notion. Over the years we became very close. While I had caught her in a few lies – I didn’t want to give up my one last “normal” friend. Maybe I wanted to help her awaken? To sum up – by conforming to make the friendship easier on her, I was giving up myself. It happened so slowly over the years I didn’t really see the forest for the trees, until I returned to that area. Within 2 months, I knew she hated me. All her sweetness & politeness was just a cover for her deepseated hatred & jealousy of me. Within 3 months, I had proof she had stinkbugged me. This is similar to gaslighting. I found myself surrounded by people who – for 25 years had their preconceived notions of me shaped by her. She was my only “link” to that area. It has been a month since we spoke. We used to talk daily if not weekly by phone. It has been LIBERATING! I guess my point here, is if you try to hang on to friendships not meant to be, no matter how well intentioned, you will just end up hurting yourself. I became blind to her abuse, and limited my own growth, in favor of an idealist goal of guiding her through an awakening. Just Don’t Do It.

    • thank you so much for sharing! this is very insightful and some great points! light and love to you

  • Haydée Souffrant

    What a TIMELY article (especially with this Venus + Jupiter and the upcoming FIVE retrogrades this month). I’ve struggled for a long time with my awakening since it started since I was VERY young- probably around aged 11 or 12. This ended up with me going through “cycles” of friendships that would phase out (often times dramatically) and I would always start over in building friendships. This would like something like- having a circle of friends, someone would exhibit HIGH jealousy, begin rumors about me, and my less awakened friends would follow suit. So I began and ended high school with very few friends which after a certain point became fine with me.

    This came up again after meeting my twin flame a few years ago. We were partnered, but in doing so my awaken SPED UP DRASTICALLY and they had a hard time with their own, so we parted ways, mostly because our souls weren’t ready yet, but also because of a very toxic friend of his whom I can’t physically be in the same room and is “half awakened”/is a karmic twin of his. In any case, this was a beautiful reminder of how your spirit knows how to protect your energy and that there is an ebb and flow to this life Mama God/Spirit is crafting for us.

    Thank you! Haydee from The Rooted Turtle Healing

    • Thank you for sharing Haydee! Yes April will be an interesting months with the retrogrades, a sign to slow down I think! And yes, your spirit always knows how to protect your energy the best 🙂 light and love to you xoxoxo and thank you for the work you do

  • Daniel Lucas

    Mine was much like yours, Tanaaz, fairly gentle and happy. I was fairly spiritual by 13, went to Catholic church by myself for a while, but was seeing the questions they couldn’t answer. I started looking for answers, read a lot, and discovered reincarnation in Buddhism around 19, when everything really started clearing up. I realized I was somewhat different at 19, when I was partying with friends, was talking with one, as we sat on the roof, about life, the universe and everything, and he said, “Oh, don’t get heavy man. Lets just party.” (It was 1971, hence the vernacular. 🙂 ) I was wise enough to catch on right away when and with whom to let it show and when not to. I never felt a need to force anyone to go beyond their comfort zone, just so I could share something meaningful to me. I was happy to have my spiritual connection inside, didn’t feel a need to share it, unless there was a specific purpose for it, to help another at times, who was struggling with something. I never had a problem integrating it with my normal life and relationships. I’ve always been able to relate to, and get along with, everyone I’ve met, regardless of their personality, character or spiritual development. I believe that was easy for me, partly, because I’m a very old soul, and have experienced all that those I’ve met have gone through, or were going through, so it was easy to relate to. Also, I’m a very easy going Libra, with Moon, Saturn, Neptune also in Libra. But not bland, late Libra, 5 days to Scorpio, Scorpio Rising & Venus in Scorpio. The fact that I like and care very deeply, thanks to both energies and my own awareness, about others, has made it much easier for me to let them live their lives their way, enjoy them as they are, and not feel any negative feelings in myself when I’m different and can’t relate to someone in every way that I might like to, but they’re not into. I find others are often too hard on themselves, in their development, demand too much of themselves or their relationships with others, and make themselves or others more unhappy than they might need to, otherwise. But then, I guess that’s part of how they learn that. I read something long ago in a book on Buddhism, “Don’t push the river.” It will flow where it’s meant to. That’s, “coincidently” ;), how I’ve generally lived my life, by intuition or my basic (true) nature. When I follow my inner guidance, understand where it’s meant to flow and why, and was able to flow with it, things went better. I only got into trouble when I tried to push things in a direction they weren’t meant to go. I’m not always completely happy with where they’re meant to flow :), but acceptance, and trying to find whatever joy I can in it, help to make it better than fighting it. I’ve learned that from trying both enough times to realize which works better.

  • Varun Lalelio

    ok so i went through my awakening on my 18th birthday. What helped me , is somebody came into my life [saved me i was on the verge on dying no kidding] and actually held my hand through this process. A wise old man we’ll call him X.

    I got super lucky however because X shared things with me that i cannot ever discuss with anybody because you see it is like up to me to pass this down to someone worthy?.

    My opinion of awakening is it is a like an INTENSE and WONDERFUL experience and you want to share it with someone. X was that person for me.

    But i never cut off anyfriends from my life. But not to brag[if this is even bragging WAHAHHA] but i’m like a 60year old man in the body of a 22year old so meh , i’m pretty special or so X said. Honestly , i’m as humble as it gets. I’m honest because you people get me.

    But then again i’m indian so the process is surely different for me. Honestly though i hate knowing things. Maybe thats the irony though or so i always think that you know because your soul is pure[something like that]. There is no bad that could come from u knowing only good?

    Like i look at someone and asks myself something and bam. Answered. of course not always. It always comes when i least expect it actually.

    Wrote quite a lot this site is pretty sweet i’ll be checking out other articles =D