Meeting Your Soulmate and Realizing It’s Not For Life

So many of us have heard and read about the term soulmate. There are lots of books written about the word itself, as well as the meaning that it carries within its terminology. It makes some people quiver with romantic tension, and others yawn at the mere thought.

Being a woman, especially a conscious one, I can testify that the word exists due to a volcanically charged reason. That reason is the root cause of major life changes, deep heartache, real life movie-type love and love at first sight without knowing how on earth it happened. It carries both sides of a wondrous coin and yes indeed, we all have to make payments of some sorts if we are to live, breathe and then survive the saga: Meeting your soulmate and realizing that it’s not for life.

Soulmate love has for a very long time, been thought to be this ultimate type of love, that sweeps you off your feet and you feel like you’ve known each other for lifetimes. The scenario moves on to courtship, couplehood, move in, engagement, marriage, home, cars, jobs, babies, whatever floats your boat and you scratch my back, I scratch yours, we get stinky and wrinkly together and bam! We die.

Well… most of it’s true, for some people that are destined to meet their soulmate in this lifetime. For most others that do meet their soulmate, an immense amount of growth takes place, some major raging wars as well as karmic patterns of role play or whatnot…and it might just not last after the couplehood or courtship or any of the first stages.

And then we have the rest.

The rest that just don’t have the guts to believe that this type of love is real, and therefore will not ever see clearly enough when their soulmate is standing right in front of them.

Well, this article is for those of you who have loved and lost, for you… that have cried many nights wondering what the heck was happening inside of you, and wondered how you ever got so lucky to experience the magic of love (even if it lasted for a short period of time) or if you ever would survive the ache that wouldn’t stop washing over you.


Love is everything. It is such a powerful thing, that we need to see and feel it manifest in the essence of human energy, touch, smell, in gifts, portraits and other types of expressional manifestation. It is almost too immense to describe. Life truly is love, because if Creator didn’t love you, then why is your heart beating every second of your life? What on earth keeps it alive? What energy animates it, all the time, without rest, just so you can live and play and work and learn?

Love is everything. Everything is love. Call me a hippie, and I’ll gladly be one, ‘cause love is my religion. Deep inside, we ALL ache to be loved. No matter how that love is expressed, that need for love is expressed, where that need is rooted, etc. it is still love.

And so this takes us to the gift of couplehood, of “the other half” of ourselves. The mystical and almost mythical forever-lasting source of intimacy, inspiration and happiness. Soulmate comes along. All of the stages of love strikes you and you drop your shield and sword, swearing to love forever, and then the anvil hits you and you wake up from your rose-colored dream.

What happens is that people don’t realize that this one person cannot truly ever be our complete engine for life. He or she cannot fulfill every single need you have and do it per psychic communication, all the time. Sure thing, soulmate love is mindblowing and almost surreal, but almost is the key word. It is not surreal, it is very much real, and real things carry 3D vibrations which include being hurt, hurting, miscommunicating and whatever else people do to each other in intimate relationships.

Soulmate love is here to shake you, wake you up and kick you in the butt. It is supposed to give you perspective, strip you naked of your egoic bravado and wake you up from your self-created reality. Not just to mess you up, but more so to make you realize who you truly are at the end of the saga. Soulmate love doesn’t always last (actually most relationships of that frequency don’t, due to the intensity) and one has to weather the storms cautiously as not to leave permanent damage behind.

Take what is “good” and memorize it for rainy days. Take what is “bad” and memorize it for sunny days. If you can, on a sunny day, recall all the ugly stuff you went through and broke through and became a better person for, then you are royalty. Then losing a soulmate was not in vain. If you have gained wisdom, life experience, gotten to love deeply and still learned how to let go, due to whatever reason, then you are the victorious heart.

So no, soulmate love does not need to last for life. Your soulmate might want to get wrinkly with another person, so let them. Love deeply, from a distance. And as you learn that lesson, to love unconditionally, to want what is best for another no matter how much you hurt due to human perspectives…you might just get upgraded in the game of love and be lucky enough to meet your twin flame.

So don’t fret, after soulmate comes sunshine again.

About the author

Hengi Hawk

  • After Life

    For me a soulmate is someone that resonates perfectly with you, and is also operating on a significantly higher than average plane of understanding of all things around them.

    When it comes to romance I’ve always believed people usually do not take the proper amount of time to first know themselves, and then ultimately know their companion. So how great or awful their relationship is, is often based on very inaccurate perceptions of themselves and each other.

    When we get in touch with who we are, it unlocks our potential in all aspects of life, romance included. I honestly believe a great many people are limited in what kind of romance they are capable of, and are not ready for a “soulmate”. That’s not to say people can’t have what appears to be great chemistry, great enough perhaps to keep them content enough for a lifetime, but they may not really meet my criteria for a soulmate. Cause after all, how could people be soulmates if they don’t truly know their own soul, let alone that of their partners.

    I’ve seen every degree of settling, in some ways it makes me feel guilty like I am too judgmental when I think, “oh man they could have been in a much more fulfilling relationship” but not everyone is destined to live a way that I would find “great”.

  • Hengi

    That is an interesting take on things, and I must say that I agree with you, very much. I’m glad that you know such deep self-knowledge as to never “settle”, but also keep in mind that even THAT mind set is just that… a mind set. Subjective reality can be flexy, molded into what you want it to be, for your highest good. So even if it’s good to not “settle”, it is also important to allow oneself to truly be in the moment, to be embraced and to love.

  • After Life

    I always try to keep things in perspective, understanding that my truths may only suit me, and even then need to constantly be re-evaluated.

    I try to truly be in each moment as best I can, but it can get tough because my reality is often so different from those around me.

  • Hengi

    That sounds wonderfully mature, I support you on your journey and hope that you find solace in knowing that even though the ones aren’t very much like you, there are still people out there, soul brother and sisters, that are on a similar journey as you. Happy Holidays!

  • After Life

    Can you elaborate on “the ones aren’t very much like you”?

    • Latasha Hall

      Well, I’ve been single since 2009 and now 2018…. so how can I find the soulmate that’s almost a perky but whimsical to my half?

      • unfortunately there is no guide book out there for that! just keep loving yourself and putting yourself out there, and trust in divine timing!

  • Latasha Hall

    Why don’t have a soulmate by now?