Why Do We Seek Companionship?

why we seek companionship

We are bought into this world alone and we die alone, so why is that humans are so avid on seeking partnership in this life?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not anti-partnership but I am extremely curious as to why as humans we seek to join with another.

Marriage is also thrown into the equation here. According to the American Psychological Association, between 40-50% of marriages in the US end in divorce–  there has to be something we are doing “wrong” here. Is it possible that as humans we are just not meant to seek that one partner that we have been somehow made to believe is normal?

We live in a culture where it is expected of us to find a partner. People spend months, if not years obsessing over finding someone. There are countless dating sites, meet ups, speed dating events and mixers that people go to in order to find a companion.

What drives us so much to find a companion? Is it fear? Is it because we are scared of being alone as individuals? Is it society, or is it much deeper?

Is there a deeper spiritual yearning to find a match?

The concept of a twin flame and soul mate has long been discussed in the spiritual world.

Soul mates are our friends, family members and sometimes partners who are almost ‘cut from the same cloth’ as us. Many believe that soul mates come to guide us and to help us on our path. Sometimes soul mates come to help resolve unfinished business from a past life.

Soul mate relationships, whether romantic or otherwise can move and shake you, and often leave a lasting imprint on your life. Soul mates sometimes also stick around and become your greatest friend, teacher or spouse.


Twin flames on the other hand are the ultimate epitome of Love- with a capital L! It is believed that before you are bought into the physical world, the energy of your soul is divided into both a “masculine” and “feminine” energy. When you connect with your other energetic half in physical form you have found your Twin Flame.

Not everyone will experience Twin Flame love in their life time. Many believe that the soul has to go through many earthly journeys and reincarnations to get to a level where they can meet their Twin Flame. Those who believe they have met their Twin Flame also state that having a romantic relationship with them was so intense that often did not last long term.

I am not sure if I believe the concept of the Twin flame however, despite my earlier ramblings I am a romantic and really do believe that allowing yourself to “fall” in love is one of the greatest things we can do. However, I definitely feel as a society we place WAYYY too much on finding the “right” person and trying to tie ourselves to one particular human for the rest of our lives.

While I am definitely not against marriage, I guess maybe I am not there yet in seeing if it really has any value, or its all just a fabricated mentality that is instilled in us.

As humans we do crave touch, company and find enjoyment with others. We were not made to be hermits and nor were we designed to only flourish in solitude. We are meant to get out into the world, meet people, have experiences and open ourselves to all possibilities.

Having a partner does make us feel stronger and many times it can push us forward to be the best versions of ourselves. Teaming up with another is a great and safe way to move through the world, but at the same time, there is nothing lost from doing it alone. I firmly believe that as individuals we are given all we need, and if that includes walking a solo path for a period in your life then you must trust that is what is best for you to evolve at this point in your journey.

It is also important to remember that unless you truly love yourself, and are comfortable with who you are it will be extremely difficult to appreciate and love another.

I will leave you now with words from the famous Elton John song which reflects perfectly that we all have our own time when it comes to meeting that special someone- There’s a time for everyone if they only learn, that the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn, there’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors, when the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours…”

About the author

Tanaaz

Creator of Forever Conscious and other things.

  • “I definitely feel as a society we place WAYYY too much on finding the “right” person and trying to tie ourselves to one particular human for the rest of our lives.”

    I totally agree with this statement! I’m currently in a courtship, and am still getting used to the idea, since I had been single for nearly three years prior. I had accepted that living a solo life was not the worst fate a person can have, when you have passion(s) of the non-human variety in your life.

    I am divorced, and have decided that I’d rather not get married again, though I’m open to the idea. I’ve realized that it’s unfair to expect someone to have the same feelings for you forever, so why become legally bound? A piece of paper should not define a couple. Only their love should!

    Side Note: This sight is helping me to become more mindful and aware of my essence. Thanks for all you do! I’ll be buying Becoming Forever Conscious soon. 🙂

    • Thank you for your insight Justine! I am glad you are loving the site 🙂 I am in a relationship too but have always been very comfortable living the single life and being independent. I see how having a partner definitely makes life easier (and you learn alot about yourself!) but like you, I feel that we are such dynamic beings: can we really just be with one person our whole lives?? Of course, this is not to say marriage is not wonderful and sacred and can work. I know plenty of people that were happily married till the day they died. I just think we are all different and should honor that when it comes to doing ‘societal driven’ things like getting married.