Does your life feel complicated?
When you feed into drama life gets complicated, when you feed into the emotions of the people around you, life gets complicated, when you start doing things for others or as a means to an end, life gets complicated.
One of the best quotes shared by Eckhart Tolle is- “Life is the dancer and you are the dance”, basically this means that we choose the way our life will go. This doesn’t mean that we have control over the events, but it means that we can choose the type, style and tempo of the dance.
Life is happening, the dancer will always go on and move to the rhythm that we tell it to.
It’s a mistake to think that we control our lives, but it’s also a mistake to think that we don’t. There are things that we will never have control over- the weather, other people, events etc. but one thing that we do have control over is how we handle events, other people and the weather.
The weather is the simplest analogy- life would get pretty complicated if we wore shorts in the snow and a winter jacket in the sun. We would feel uncomfortable, cold, wet and perhaps even suffer some consequences such as catching a cold, getting sun stroke etc etc. Emotionally perhaps, we would also start to feel upset that we were making these bad clothing choices, and confused as to why everyone else seems to have it figured out.
It seems really simple when you think of it this way. Just check the weather forecast, look outside, watch the news, it’s a simple fix.
Well, this exact same analogy can be applied to all instances in our lives. There is always a simple solution, but often it is just hiding under mounds of emotions.
Emotions that are not just yours, but everyone else’s too. And when that happens, complications ensue. Things get uncomfortable, confusing, daunting.
The trick here is to move away all the baggage that is stopping you from having clarity by…
Step 1: What Actions am I Making on Behalf of Others?
Forget about the other and bring your awareness to you, its not about being selfish but rather its respecting your boundaries and honouring your truth. And really, you can’t control others and you never really know how someone else feels so take them out of the equation.
How do YOU feel, what do YOU want to do. If the other person didn’t matter, what would, you do differently?
Step 2: Look at the Facts.
Very quickly our emotions can come into play and suddenly an event becomes filled with drama, fear and ego. Sometimes our emotions can twist the events and can make something seem worse than it is. Take the emotions out. Look at the facts. Look at the situation without judgement, suddenly it will look a whole lot clearer.
Step 3: You are Responsible for You
You are responsible just for you, your actions and your behavior. At the end of the day, it’s your life and it’s your bed that you need to sleep in every night. Make choices based on you and what it is you truly want, otherwise you will always regret and you will always look back.
“Imagine how easy your life will be when you are able to make all decisions with clarity and freedom from fear…”- Lulu Mares
Still stuck? Read: What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do