How to Start Loving Yourself

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how to love yourself

We all know that self love and self care are so important, but how do you start loving yourself?

A lot of people are under the impression that self-love is selfish, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Self-love is not about being arrogant or thinking that you are better than anyone else.

Self-love is the simple act of treating yourself with loving kindness, respect, and honor. Self love is about listening to your body, mind, and soul and becoming self aware about what you need and desire.

Self-love is really where it all begins. In fact, if you want to walk the spiritual path, if you want to become more in-tune with your intuition, and radiate positivity, it all begins with learning to love yourself.

Here are a few suggestions on how to love yourself-

1: Accept All of You 

Self-love is not about loving some mythical version of yourself. It is about loving all of you exactly as you are right now. It is about loving your flaws, your troubles, and all of the negative thoughts that you have. It is about accepting who you are right now in this very moment and knowing and trusting that this is where you need to be. This doesn’t mean that you don’t strive to better yourself, instead it means you love yourself regardless of where you are at.

2: Own Your Space and Who You Are

You deserve to take up space in this world. You deserve to ask questions and speak up. You are worthy to be here. You don’t need any special permission to be a part of this world and to go after what you want. Loving yourself is about knowing that you are worthy and that it’s ok to take up “space” in this world. When you respect yourself, and know that you are worthy, you also teach other people to treat you in the same way.


3: Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Comparison really is the thief of joy. Don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others, or thinking you should be like those around you. You are individual and unique and that is what makes you special. We all have our own journey to walk in this life and our own stories to tell. Every story and journey is valuable and special, so don’t feel like you need to compare yourself to others at any stage on your life journey.

4: Create Your Own Idea of Beauty

We are constantly being bombarded by the media about what beauty looks like, but you don’t need to conform to these standards. Learning to accept your body and the way you look is one of the most empowering things you can do.

Looking in the mirror and learning to love or at least accept what you see when you look back is a daily practice. Start by standing naked in front of the mirror and talking to your body. Tell yourself that you accept and love yourself. Even if you don’t believe it at first, the more you say it, the more you will start to feel it and own it. When you do this enough, loving your body will become a truth.

5: Know Perfectionism is an Unattainable Goal 

Feeling “perfect” is an inside job and not something you can create from the outside. The reality is that no one is perfect, so striving for perfectionism is something that will forever leave you in pursuit. As author Brene Brown says-

“When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver.”

Perfectionism is often fear based and is also very critical. The perfectionist is never happy regardless of what they create or do. All you can do is be who you are and do your best, nothing more, nothing less.

6: Learn to Laugh at Yourself

Not taking yourself or your life too seriously is a great way to cultivate more self-love. Sometimes we can be so demanding of ourselves, or have these great expectations or ideas that may sound good, but may not be the best way forward for us. By relaxing into the flow of life and learning to not take things seriously, you give yourself permission to just be who you are and find where you need to go.

7: Everything Takes Time

You do not need to have everything figured out overnight. Everything takes time, and every road you travel has its own rhythm and flow. Be patient with yourself and don’t feel like you need to have everything figured out all in one go. Know that you will get wherever you need to go in perfect timing.

About the author

Tanaaz

Creator of Forever Conscious and other things.