How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

stop self sabotage

Do you sabotage your efforts?

Most of us do and are not even aware of it.

Sabotaging can creep up in all different forms. It can be as sneaky as telling us to eat the donut instead of the fruit salad or it can stop us from pursuing our greatest dreams and ambitions.

Most people who sabotage themselves are extremely smart and often have many ambitious and creative ideas however, they just can’t seem to get it together and turn it into a reality.

I see it time and time again, super smart, beautiful, funny, creative, loving people with so many brilliant ideas and goals and dreams that they just can’t seem to get off the ground or complete.

Not all great ideas are destined to be completed, however if you constantly find yourself giving up, talking but never acting or knowing you need to make a change but lacking the energy or motivation to do so, then chances are you are sabotaging yourself.

Sabotaging stems from the root of fear.

Usually this fear is in not being worthy enough, being afraid of success or being afraid of failure.

Let’s look at each of these in more detail-

I am not worthy enough: This usually manifest as- I can’t do this because I don’t have enough….Money, Experience, Time, Knowledge etc etc. It can also manifest as- I can’t do this because I am….too old, too young, too ugly, too fat, too dumb, too sensitive, too injured etc etc.

Usually our “not worthy enough” fears seem to make rational sense too- “Oh I can’t be a ballerina, I am too old and too inflexible.” Or, “I really want to start this new business but I don’t have the funding.”

While these thoughts sound rational, what is really stopping you from taking that ballet class or launching your business? Chances are it is nothing to do with age or money and everything to do with fear.

Being Afraid of Success: This usually manifests when you have a great idea, you have some resources or plans to put it into action, but you lack the motivation and drive to bring it altogether.

Usually, being afraid of success also brings anxiety into the situation, this is because on some deeper level you know you are onto something good, but your fears are holding you back because you are so afraid of what will actually happen when you “make it.”

Often a fear of success helps keeps you in your comfort zone, even if that comfort zone is not aligned with your dreams or is financially viable, it becomes a safety net.

Being Afraid of Failure: This usually manifests when things are up and running and some level of accomplishment has already occurred. Then the pressure and attachment towards what you are doing becomes so strong that you fear making a next move or you become obsessed with every little detail.

Usually the pressure of your pursuits becomes so great that you end up subconsciously taking actions that jeopardize you and your goals.

Sometimes a fear of failure can be so great that it stops you from taking action altogether.

As you can see, these three main fears behind sabotage are in many ways linked together. If you have been able to identify these fears in your life. Here is what to do about it…..

#1: Understand that everyone has fears, from people who started Fortune 500 companies to those who went in pursuit of their dreams, to those who decided to get married and those who decided to jump out of an aeroplane with a parachute. Honor and acknowledge your fears.

#2: Once you have accepted that you have fears, understand that they are not real. They only exist in the thoughts of your past and your future, they are not real or in the present moment with you. This is about bringing awareness to the present and understanding that our fears will always come up with excuses as to why they are real.

#3: While fear is usually irrational, the feelings that comes along with it may feel very real. This is where you have to give yourself permission to feel the fear. Even though your rational mind can say, there is not anything to really worry about, our emotions may trick us into thinking otherwise. This is where you need to feel the fear and do it anyway.

#4: Understand that you are SO supported by the Universe. When you understand that you are supported by the Universe, that there are no mistakes, that there are no “wrong” choices and that the sun will rise again, it takes the pressure off. It also allows you to trust yourself and your truth.

#5: You are a strong, confident, loveable, intelligent being. There is no reason for you to hold yourself back. Just by being here you have achieved so much, in fact you even being here is a miracle! When you trust and love yourself, you align with the vibration of your truth and who you really are and that alignment will always bring you strength and courage.

#6: You are not alone. You are divinely connected and supported to everything in this Universe. You are pure, radiant love and you are not alone on this journey. Trust that the right teachers, mentors, relationships, financing and whatever else you need to achieve your dreams and goals will appear when you open to the Universe and trust.

#7: The easiest way to open to the Universe is to give thanks and gratitude for all that you are and all that you have. Start with being thankful for your beautiful body, mind, spirit and heart. Then move on to being thankful for the many blessings that surround you. Know that no matter what happens you will always have something to be grateful for.

With all this knowledge and understanding it is time to JUMP! And make an action plan.

Take a pen and paper and write down now one thing you would like to create for yourself in the next 6 months, perhaps it can be something you have wanted for a while but have been too scared to do. Go big! Go deep! Go to your highest visions for yourself!

Start putting your plan into action little by little, day by day. Notice if your sabotaging thoughts appear and keep encouraging yourself through them.

Break your patterns of fear and very soon, you too will be jumping out of an aeroplane (with a parachute of course).

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About the author


Tanaaz is the creator of Forever Conscious. She is an intuitive astrologer and aims to use her writing to heal and inspire. She is also the author of several books including the Power of Positive Energy, Messages for the Soul, and My Pocket Mantras. She also runs online courses and in-person retreats.