I Have No Idea What I am Doing

I am going to be honest with you here: I have no idea what I am doing most of the time.

Yeah I have confidence in my work ethic and I have faith that the outcome will always be what the universe needs it to be but I have no idea what I am doing.

A little example: months ago I met a man named Nick who ran a furniture and antique store with lots of stories. I realized that “Hey! I have a camera. I should film some of his stories.”

I have been filming his stories and his events of the store for months now and I have no idea what I am doing. Should I be better at this? How the hell do you shoot a documentary? Am I wasting my time?

After a day of meditation and trying to find guidance for the project I realized. Do any of us know what we are doing? Isn’t that part of the fun of life?

I remember when I was thirteen years old and I went in to audition for jazz band at school.  I played saxophone and had just started playing the guitar days before my band leaded said “if anyone knows guitar, you should audition tomorrow before school.”

I had to beg my mom to drive me to school because she didn’t realize how difficult it is to drag an electric guitar and small amplifier onto a bus. Thanks mom for helping me out.

After she dropped me off at school, I picked up my six string and I realized, I have no idea what I am doing. I couldn’t play a solo, I didn’t know any major (or minor) scales, I didn’t even look cool carrying a guitar! I mean, I got dropped off in a mini van! But I sucked it up, walked in and auditioned.

I was super nervous and for some reason I decided to solo along to “Foxy Lady” by Jimi Hendrix because I had heard the song four days prior and thought “Yeah, I could do that.” I had no idea what I was doing. The band leader kindly said, “That’s not Jimi Hendrix but thanks for coming in early”. It was terrible.

But I studied, practiced, and listened to jazz until I was able to play a few jazz chords and follow along with the rest of the (very talented) band. About a month later I asked the band leader if I could audition again and he sort of smirked and said “uh, sure, come by tomorrow before school.”

After another morning drop off in my mom’s mini van I had the same feeling I have no idea what I am doing. But this time was different! I was prepared! Plus I left my Jimi Hendrix CD at home so what could go wrong!?

I want to say that I cruised my way through the audition and that my teacher retired and let me lead the band because I was so good. But at best, I was able to follow along and not play too loud. So I got in.

My point to all of this is, I think having no idea what we are doing is the Universe telling us to try. If we always knew what we were doing all the time, life would get pretty boring.

I mean, just think how slow a week goes when you are at your job knowing what you’re doing. It sucks. I for one want to be challenged and want to have more experiences where I have no idea what I am doing. Those are the best situations! Those are the ones where you learn so much or start your journey out on something new!

I have no idea what I am doing. And I like it.

When was a time where you had no idea what you were doing? Did it turn out okay? What did you learn from the experience? Can you play Foxy Lady on the guitar? Let me know in the comment section below and we can swap band stories.

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About the author

Mark Alderson