Very often we take for granted just how difficult it is to actually communicate with someone in a truthful and thoughtful way.
Words tend to have a different meaning for certain people or may even trigger subconscious thoughts or wounds from their past. This can lead to feeling misunderstood and can even cause conflicts.
In fact, most problems in relationships can often be traced back to poor communication skills.
Everyone has a different way of looking at the world and when talking with someone often their mood, upbringing, culture and even their vibration can influence the way they choose to interpret things.
Being a good communicator is not easy and it does take practice; it definitely is a skill that many of us could use some help learning to master.
Here are 5 tips to help you become a better communicator-
1. Don’t Just Listen to Respond
Being a good communicator starts with being a good listener. But very often, we listen to respond and begin formulating what we are going to say to the other person before we have really heard their full story.
This is not effective listening and stops you from really being present in the situation. It also causes you to miss the subtle nuances that the person may be trying to communicate to you.
When someone is talking, don’t listen to respond, instead just listen. Try to give them your undivided attention and wait to formulate your response until after they have finished talking.
This not only helps you to be more present in the moment, but it also stops your ego from getting in the way.
2. Put Yourself in Their Shoes
As mentioned earlier, we interpret the world through our own lens that is conditioned by our subconscious and conscious mind. For this reason, we can actually never really fully understand what it is like to be someone else or live someone else’s life, but we can get pretty close.
Putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and really trying to understand things from their point of view can help you to become more compassionate and more understanding. This in turn, can help to improve your communication skills.
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they are saying but it can help you to understand why they feel the way that they do.
When you come from this point of view, it allows you to see things with a new vantage point and perhaps this can help you to find a resolution faster.
3. You Don’t Have to Prove You are Right
Spiritual author Wayne Dyer once stated- “It is better to be kind than to be right”.
Being right or wrong is often not as clear cut as we would like to imagine. While some situations are more obvious than others, being “right” or “wrong” is often a matter of perception.
Instead of arguing or trying to prove that you are right, instead try to focus on the intention behind the issue. What is the underlying intention for both of you? What point are you really trying to get across?
This is a much kinder way to approach conflict resolution and also helps you to avoid getting into an ego fuelled battle about who is in the right.
Keeping an open mind and being willing to admit when you are wrong is also a part of being a good communicator.
After all, we communicate to learn and people often have a lot of things they can teach us if we are just prepared to listen and put our own ideas aside, even if it is just for a moment.
4. Be Honest With Yourself
The more honest you can be with yourself, the better communicator you are going to be. If you are not clear about how you really feel this is definitely going to come through in the way you communicate.
When you are lying to yourself or in denial, people subconsciously pick this up as well and it can lead to trust issues in a relationship, even if you are not deliberately trying to deceive anyone.
Having a good connection with yourself and knowing who you are and what you stand for is always at the center of being an effective communicator.
5. Throat Chakra Healing
The Throat Chakra is responsible for our ability to express ourselves in a clear, thoughtful and logical way. If you have trouble with communication or speaking your truth, this is the Chakra or energy center that you will want to work on. Here are some suggestions to help activate and strengthen your throat chakra-
- Sing or Hum: Singing or even humming can be a great way to activate your throat chakra. It can also be a great way to relieve emotions and it can help to increase your confidence when it comes to speaking up. If you are going to hum instead of sing, try humming with your mouth open to help stretch your jaw muscles.
- The Color Blue: The color blue is associated with the throat chakra. To use this colour to heal, you can visualise a healing blue light radiating from your throat area or you can even wear blue clothes. Wearing or holding blue crystals can also help.
- Yoga: The poses in Yoga that help to stimulate the throat chakra include cobra, camel pose, cat/cow pose or any other pose that helps to open up and expose your neck.
- Journal: Journalling is a great way to get in touch with your thoughts, feelings and truth. Journalling also help to stimulate your throat chakra energy. You can find a helpful journaling exercise here.
Effective communicating is not easy, but by remaining present and mindful of how you speak and listen, it can definitely help to improve your skills.