Image Artwork by Nela Dunato
It seems like every other day I am seeing an article on my Facebook feed about narcissists, empaths and romances between narcissists and empaths.
Both empaths and narcissist are buzz words that people seem to be using more and more to describe themselves or people they know.
What it is interesting is that I have observed that narcissist are like the shadow of the empath. Whatever the light touches also casts a shadow, and I feel that both narcissists and empaths are one side of the same coin.
What is a Narcissist?
Firstly, narcissism is a mental disorder, however today the term is being used more freely to describe people who most likely are living from a place of extreme ego.
No one is born a narcissistic, it is a behaviour pattern that is developed over time. Narcissists are described as being manipulative, lacking empathy, having split personalities, being controlling and having a heightened sense of self importance.
On a deeper level however, perhaps the narcissist is an empath themselves, but just can’t seem to figure out how to handle all of their emotions. This then results in them shutting out their emotions, feeding the ego and turning into a seemingly emotionless person.
Perhaps a narcissist has so much empathy that they don’t know what to do with, so it manifests as them displaying narcissistic tendencies.
What is an Empath?
The term empath is also being used more freely to describe people who are highly intuitive and extremely sensitive to energy.
We are all intuitive and sensitive to energy to some degree, but empaths are here to light the way and to hold the torch for other people to follow. Empaths are here to increase our awareness to energy and that we are all energetic beings.
The same goes for the narcissist, they are simply holding the torch to expose the ego and how it can take over and make the person seem almost inhumane.
Empaths and narcissist have always been around, but as our consciousness continues to evolve, we are becoming more aware of these behaviour patterns.
Why Empaths and Narcissists Attract
If we look at narcissists who are empaths that simply cannot use their gifts, then it would make sense as to why an empath and a narcissist would be attracted to one another.
Both the empath and the narcissist would recognize themselves in one another. The empath would want to cure and help the narcissist and the narcissist would want to learn and perhaps even suck energy from the empath as a way to cope.
Often we view the narcissist as a spineless villain who is out to take advantage of the empath, but perhaps really deep down on a subconscious level, the narcissist is trying to understand how the empath has been able to use their gifts.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that the empath should tolerate or become a victim of the narcissists behaviour, but perhaps this may explain why an empath would get sucked into this type of relationship.
On a deeper level, the empath can see the narcissists cry for help and guidance. In this type of relationship, the empath is responding to something much deeper and below the surface.
There is no doubt that the empath is the narcissists greatest teacher, it is just up to the narcissist to embrace the lesson. But it is important to understand that it is not the empaths responsibility to change the ways of the narcissist.
For those empaths who have been or currently are in a relationship with someone displaying narcissistic behaviour, it is important to understand that you are not responsible for healing them. Only the narcissist can do that when they realize that they too are an energetic being that has been gripped by the fear of the ego.
Just the same, the narcissist is most likely going to be the empaths greatest teacher as it will help to expand their gifts and expose any self-limiting beliefs that are blocking the empath from living their life to the fullest.